I can't be the only mommy that worries about if my child is where she should be in weight, height and cognitively? Its been kinda hard to really tell because since the ear surgery a lot has changed and her vocabulary has more than doubled it self.
She loves to say I love you which makes this mommy very happy. Here is a list of words or phrases my 19 month old knows.
- More
-Please
-Now
-No
-Yes
-Kitty
-Dog
-I love you
- Lets go
- Turtle
-Daddy
-Mommy
-Thank You
-Bless you - This one is my favorite
- Mine
-All Gone
-Hot Hot
-Shoe
-Nose
- Eye
- One, Two, Three
-Baby
-Go
There is more however It would take me forever to write it all down! Before surgery she said more thank you mine and a couple other words. So going from like five words to twenty five is kinda crazy for us. She shocks me every time she says something new.
I am so very blessed to have such a smart beautiful daughter. I am very glad we did the ear surgery because we have seen such a huge difference in how attentive she is about new things.
All this big kid stuff is making me miss the baby days. Part of me wants another baby but I just don't feel it is the right time yet. I know god will lead me to the answer I need however for now this momma is the momma of ONE beautiful baby. When and If its time for number two it will happen when it is time. However I am not ready for such a venture, I have a few things I would like to accomplish first.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Facebook Page!
Go to Facebook and Look up Chaotic Mama Life and you shall find my new Facebook page for the blog! I am super excited to get this started hopefully help me get more people reading!
I honestly love to write and share my experiences with others but I even more want to here your experiences too! Mamas always need help! I am not afraid to say that I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING. I love to learn new things or ideas to make my life just a little bit easier, so comment what you think of what I have to say and don't be afraid I won't be mad!
I honestly love to write and share my experiences with others but I even more want to here your experiences too! Mamas always need help! I am not afraid to say that I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING. I love to learn new things or ideas to make my life just a little bit easier, so comment what you think of what I have to say and don't be afraid I won't be mad!
Thursday, July 23, 2015
New Routine = Better Life
This last week I have been able to meet every goal I have made for myself. So lets start with number one.
1. Waking up on time- I love my sleep so waking up earlier is kinda hard for me and it always has been however since having Millie I have done a lot better. This last week I have been up by 6:30. I plan to be up at 6:00 am every morning so I am not far from my goal. Lots of alarms and determination.
2. Eating Breakfast- this week I have had time to get Millie up and fed at the table and feed myself. My goal is to make a healthy breakfast something besides cereal. Something that helps keep me fuller in the morning so I don't snack once at work.
3. Drinking more water- Today I have so far drank 136 ounces of water and I have peed a whole lot! I think this is very important because it helps get rid of toxins and because it keeps me hydrated and healthier feeling.
4. Going to the gym four times a week- So far I have gone twice this week once on Tuesday and once on Wednesday. I already feel a lot better no where near where I want to be but heck I went to a dang gym which is one of my fears I have. I do pretty good as long as I keep the negative thoughts out.
5. My overall weight goal is 170 that is a total loss of 80 pounds. I have not been under 200 pounds in.... gosh I honestly can't tell you when that was. I've always had issues with my weight and I so badly want to put that behind me and not have to say that any more. To say this is Jessica and this is who I am... Happy! I don't want my weight to define who I am.
I really think that these are some very important goals for me. They say that it takes 28 days to break a bad habit, so here goes Day one of 28 days to a better life. I can do this and I will do this.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
30 Things I will Teach My Daughter
2. I want to teach her not to take things so seriously.
3. To laugh at herself - if you say something stupid or pour red wine down your white shirt don't freak out just laugh and move on.
4. Mistakes are okay- Yes... because they happen. It will suck for a moment but as long as you learn from your mistakes there is nothing to worry about.
5. How to get up and move on from a mistake.
6. To Love
7. To Have passion for what she believes in
8. To never ever give up
9. Crying is okay- People will tell you that this makes you weak but just roll your eyes and do your thing baby girl. Crying is okay, it means you care about something. Just remember get your crying over with and do something about it!
10. I will never leave you
11. To smile
12. How to cook
13. That I will love her no matter what.
14. Kindness Goes a long way- If you see someone who may need a smile don't just walk by.
15. Don't be afraid to say sorry its a sign of strength.
16. Its the little things in life that matter
17. Don't be materialistic- You can't bring it when you die anyhow.
18. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something- Prove them wrong! - You know this one is important to your momma. People will tell you that you can't do anything but if you agree then of course you can't. You get up and you show yourself and everyone else that you are capable of anything. Don't let the world define who you are.
19. Wait to find love
20. Travel and see the world.
21. Learn Spanish... or any other language!
22. Be positive; even if you feel negative. - If you can just find one positive thing then you are doing a great job.
23. Love Yourself
24. Not everyone is going to like you
25. If you love something never give it up.
26. Go sky diving or swim with sharks or something extreme just once.
27. I will keep your secrets and will not judge you. - If you tell me something it must be important to you so of course I will not tell anyone else. But most of all I will not judge you for being who you are. You should never be embarrassed around me.
28. Find a way to express yourself
29. Love will find you... don't go searching.
30. No matter what You can do It.
Workout #1
Alright so last night I got this idea that I just needed to go work out. I needed to start somewhere and by putting it off any longer was a bad idea. So I went to the gym for like 45 minutes.
I truly did not do much but the point was getting myself to the gym and not sitting on my couch all night which would have totally happened. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. I started walking on the treadmill and then doing short distances of running until I thought my back was in to much pain. I did the treadmill for like 40 ish minutes and then went to the step stairs and did that for about six minutes. Oh my god I thought my calves were going to fall off. Like holy crap.
I am not really sure if I was doing it right and by the looks of those around me I am about 90 percent sure I was doing it very very wrong. ha-ha oh well today I plan on looking up how to use the weight machines so that I can do a bit of weights too.
I think the hardest part about going to the gym for me was I felt like I may be being judged. I have always struggled with what other people think of me. I know that is something that shouldn't bother me but it does and I am afraid to feel like I am being made fun of again.
However I am pushing past this fear just by going to the gym. I am going to do whats best for me and it will work. I just have to be strong and only think of what I think about myself for that short period of time that I am at the gym.
The gym can be a very frightening place for many people because they fear of many things. I think if you are someone that fears going to the gym it is probably really important for you to go to the gym. If you continue to just let your fears control you, you have gone no where. Control yourself and don't let a silly fear control who you want to be. Go to the gym. I promise you will realize its not as bad as you thought it was going to be.
As a result of working out today I woke up on time and am in a great great mood. I am no where near my goal but today I made it through. That is what is important to me right now.
I truly did not do much but the point was getting myself to the gym and not sitting on my couch all night which would have totally happened. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. I started walking on the treadmill and then doing short distances of running until I thought my back was in to much pain. I did the treadmill for like 40 ish minutes and then went to the step stairs and did that for about six minutes. Oh my god I thought my calves were going to fall off. Like holy crap.
I am not really sure if I was doing it right and by the looks of those around me I am about 90 percent sure I was doing it very very wrong. ha-ha oh well today I plan on looking up how to use the weight machines so that I can do a bit of weights too.
I think the hardest part about going to the gym for me was I felt like I may be being judged. I have always struggled with what other people think of me. I know that is something that shouldn't bother me but it does and I am afraid to feel like I am being made fun of again.
However I am pushing past this fear just by going to the gym. I am going to do whats best for me and it will work. I just have to be strong and only think of what I think about myself for that short period of time that I am at the gym.
The gym can be a very frightening place for many people because they fear of many things. I think if you are someone that fears going to the gym it is probably really important for you to go to the gym. If you continue to just let your fears control you, you have gone no where. Control yourself and don't let a silly fear control who you want to be. Go to the gym. I promise you will realize its not as bad as you thought it was going to be.
As a result of working out today I woke up on time and am in a great great mood. I am no where near my goal but today I made it through. That is what is important to me right now.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
College with Kids
It is gonna take me forever just to get my associates degree. I am not complaining here I am just stating a fact because of my situation. I really wish I was able to have finished at least an associates degree before I had my daughter because I feel I would have had a better chance at getting farther in the work place. Having a kid and going to school and working is well at lot of work. Its a lot of coordinating where shes going to be while I am at work and school and if I don't take online classes who is gonna watch her for 3 hours one night of the week? See what I mean. Its a lot of organization to make sure that I don't mess up and forget a class.
On the good side I have gotten a lot of experience as student and by the time I do get my associates I won't have to be looking for a new job. As a 21 year old with a child I have almost been turned down by jobs because of my age and situation. I have proved a lot of people wrong about single moms and young moms. I continue to grow and show people that a situation is only a situation and just because someone is in a tough situation doesn't make it impossible to be a good person and employee. I have always refused to be labeled like many young single moms are labeled as.
This semester I will be taking three classes which is the most I have ever taken since having my daughter.
1. General Anthropology
2. Accounting Principles Two
3. History 121
I have already taken the first class to accounting and history 121 so hopefully that will give me a hand up.
Next semester I plan on taking
Math
Speech
Science Class w/ lab
I have two science classes to complete and I so badly wish I did not have to take any science classes. I am so afraid that I will drastically fail and lose my grade point average.
Science is the worst class I will ever have to take. I get sick just thinking about taking those two classes. However I need to do one next semester or I will probably freak out if I have to take them both in one semester,
Overall I think I am on the right track and am not to terrible far away from graduating. I will be so excited when I do graduate because it is so freaking amazing to be able to say that I DID IT!
I know there were so many people who thought I would never go to school well look at me know... I am almost there! I can't wait to have my daughter watch me walk down after graduation and know that she can do anything she sets her mind to no matter what anyone thinks.
On the good side I have gotten a lot of experience as student and by the time I do get my associates I won't have to be looking for a new job. As a 21 year old with a child I have almost been turned down by jobs because of my age and situation. I have proved a lot of people wrong about single moms and young moms. I continue to grow and show people that a situation is only a situation and just because someone is in a tough situation doesn't make it impossible to be a good person and employee. I have always refused to be labeled like many young single moms are labeled as.
This semester I will be taking three classes which is the most I have ever taken since having my daughter.
1. General Anthropology
2. Accounting Principles Two
3. History 121
I have already taken the first class to accounting and history 121 so hopefully that will give me a hand up.
Next semester I plan on taking
Math
Speech
Science Class w/ lab
I have two science classes to complete and I so badly wish I did not have to take any science classes. I am so afraid that I will drastically fail and lose my grade point average.
Science is the worst class I will ever have to take. I get sick just thinking about taking those two classes. However I need to do one next semester or I will probably freak out if I have to take them both in one semester,
Overall I think I am on the right track and am not to terrible far away from graduating. I will be so excited when I do graduate because it is so freaking amazing to be able to say that I DID IT!
I know there were so many people who thought I would never go to school well look at me know... I am almost there! I can't wait to have my daughter watch me walk down after graduation and know that she can do anything she sets her mind to no matter what anyone thinks.
Positively Negative
I think being positive is probably one of the hardest thing humans do. It is very easy to be negative about a situation. I know this very well because most people can easily be negative but when its time to be positive they freeze.
The first time I recognized this was when I was in a counselors office who asked me to write down 10 positive things about myself. With in five minutes I had come up with 5 things that were negative about me.
1. I am stupid
2. I am fat
3.I don't have friends
4. I am not good enough
5. I am a burden to others
I know that is pretty sad that a young girl would think about herself but its what I truly felt its the only thing that I would let myself believe that I was.
But when she asked again what I came up with that was positive about me I froze. I couldn't think of one thing because of how negative I was toward myself. I cried so hard that there was nothing good about Jessica. Being positive about myself was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
My mom was able to help me through this.
Finally I was able to come up with one.
1. I know who I am and what I want.
This one was pretty obvious to my mother who caught me being very strong about what I wanted and who I was. I have always stood up for what I believe in. I have always been strong in this way. I have very strong morals and hopes and dreams. Things that I would never let go of until I accomplished such dreams.
It may only be one positive thing about myself but it was the first to an explosion of ideas.
To this day I still have days where being negative is easy and being positive about things is really hard. However what I know now is that I will get through this, I am strong enough to handle this situation.
Life has given me so many lessons ones that I will never forget. Very important lessons, because without those lessons I would have never learned how to be positive.
If you find yourself being more negative than positive come up with just one thing that you like about yourself. Remember though what truly matters in life is if you can love yourself for who you are, No one else's opinion matters.
All it takes is ONE Positive thought that can completely change your outlook on a negative situation. Just ONE! Find that one and your GOLDEN!
The first time I recognized this was when I was in a counselors office who asked me to write down 10 positive things about myself. With in five minutes I had come up with 5 things that were negative about me.
1. I am stupid
2. I am fat
3.I don't have friends
4. I am not good enough
5. I am a burden to others
I know that is pretty sad that a young girl would think about herself but its what I truly felt its the only thing that I would let myself believe that I was.
But when she asked again what I came up with that was positive about me I froze. I couldn't think of one thing because of how negative I was toward myself. I cried so hard that there was nothing good about Jessica. Being positive about myself was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
My mom was able to help me through this.
Finally I was able to come up with one.
1. I know who I am and what I want.
This one was pretty obvious to my mother who caught me being very strong about what I wanted and who I was. I have always stood up for what I believe in. I have always been strong in this way. I have very strong morals and hopes and dreams. Things that I would never let go of until I accomplished such dreams.
It may only be one positive thing about myself but it was the first to an explosion of ideas.
To this day I still have days where being negative is easy and being positive about things is really hard. However what I know now is that I will get through this, I am strong enough to handle this situation.
Life has given me so many lessons ones that I will never forget. Very important lessons, because without those lessons I would have never learned how to be positive.
If you find yourself being more negative than positive come up with just one thing that you like about yourself. Remember though what truly matters in life is if you can love yourself for who you are, No one else's opinion matters.
All it takes is ONE Positive thought that can completely change your outlook on a negative situation. Just ONE! Find that one and your GOLDEN!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Baby Millies Ear Update # 2
So I've been behind on updating about this but a lot has been going on.
So she went into the surgery and took her back and yes of course I cried because the look on her face was where are these people talking me. We were waiting in the waiting room for about 30 minutes at most when they called us back and told me everything went really well. I was relieved. After only 10 minutes of seeing her in the pre op room we got to take her home.
By the time we got to the car she was close to as perfect. She ate a cracker and even laughed a bit. She did really good. From the car ride to breakfast I already could see improvements in her speech. She now says dog, turtle, thank you, now, please, more, I love you, and many many many other words. I think my favorite is for sure turtle!
It is so amazing to get to hear her really talk. Josh and I enjoy teaching her new words but are learning we have to watch our mouth before she catches on to our potty mouths.
Truly it is amazing to see how responsive our daughter has become. It is pretty cool when you can have a conversation with your 19 month old and to know she can actually hear what we have to say. Its honestly a relief.
It's crazy to think that if I would not have reached out to a specialist Millie would still be struggling to hear and talk and even walk. Mom's know there baby's and even though I was told by three doctors that they couldn't give me a referral because of silliness. I made sure my baby was taken care of and it is a good thing I did too.
If you feel something is wrong don't let someone else tell you know, do what it takes to get a good doctor to look at your child. It is so very important!
I am very glad she is better now!
By the time we got to the car she was close to as perfect. She ate a cracker and even laughed a bit. She did really good. From the car ride to breakfast I already could see improvements in her speech. She now says dog, turtle, thank you, now, please, more, I love you, and many many many other words. I think my favorite is for sure turtle!
It is so amazing to get to hear her really talk. Josh and I enjoy teaching her new words but are learning we have to watch our mouth before she catches on to our potty mouths.
Truly it is amazing to see how responsive our daughter has become. It is pretty cool when you can have a conversation with your 19 month old and to know she can actually hear what we have to say. Its honestly a relief.
It's crazy to think that if I would not have reached out to a specialist Millie would still be struggling to hear and talk and even walk. Mom's know there baby's and even though I was told by three doctors that they couldn't give me a referral because of silliness. I made sure my baby was taken care of and it is a good thing I did too.
If you feel something is wrong don't let someone else tell you know, do what it takes to get a good doctor to look at your child. It is so very important!
I am very glad she is better now!
Fostering was Awesome
This weekend was my first weekend fostering for Doghousing Inc. Check them out on Facebook here https://www.facebook.com/doghousing.inc?fref=ts
It was so fun getting to hang out with our pups all night. They were very intelligent pups and weren't a problem what so ever. I kinda figured I wouldn't be getting much sleep because they were only 10 weeks old. No way though those pups slept all night no whining or anything until we go them up the next morning.
I will say working with Doghousing is so amazing and I truly am grateful I get to be apart of saving a few doggy lives with them. Doghousing is such an amazing organization and I urge you to help too! Go fill out an application and try fostering it is so much fun and worth it.
We definitely fell in love with these pups and almost wanted to keep them but decided that they were better off going to a home with enough time for them.
The reason I decided to foster was because I wanted a dog so badly but I did not know what kind of dog I wanted and I did not want to rush into getting a dog and find out later that it wasn't a good choice for my family.
Fostering has so many ups to it but most importantly you are saving a animals life. Giving them a place to sleep and be taken care of and loved until they are adopted.
I will say working with Doghousing is so amazing and I truly am grateful I get to be apart of saving a few doggy lives with them. Doghousing is such an amazing organization and I urge you to help too! Go fill out an application and try fostering it is so much fun and worth it.
We definitely fell in love with these pups and almost wanted to keep them but decided that they were better off going to a home with enough time for them.
The reason I decided to foster was because I wanted a dog so badly but I did not know what kind of dog I wanted and I did not want to rush into getting a dog and find out later that it wasn't a good choice for my family.
Fostering has so many ups to it but most importantly you are saving a animals life. Giving them a place to sleep and be taken care of and loved until they are adopted.
My daughter liked the puppy's
but was defiantly more excited about the large cage we had.... oh well I tried lol!
Tips for Single Moms
I can't exactly call myself a single mom any more however I was a single mom and will always remember that experience as being one of the best experiences I have had. Say what? Yes, it has shaped me to be a strong as I am and to stand by what I want and to love like I would have never loved.
So here are my tips for all the single mommas out there.
1. You can do this.
- You may feel like you have no one but your beautiful baby in your life but truly that is all you need. You stick in there till you get through the tough days and you will find sunshine at the end. I know that sounds cheesy but trust me you can do it.
2. Its okay to cry.
- Gosh this is probably the most important one for me. I had some pretty tough days were I thought I had lost my mind and wasn't going to make it through this journey. So many nights of crying and no one there to help me. I remember calling my mom and begging her to come help me. I cried like a baby, I would lay Millie down and make sure she was safe and then I'd go to the bathroom turn the water on and just cry and cry and cry. It is okay to cry, it is only natural to feel like you can't do this alone because in reality you weren't meant to do this alone.
3. All you need to know is a baby needs to be loved.
- I struggled with this because I knew I couldn't afford to buy Millie new toys and I thought she would someday hate me for it. I have come to learn that things are just things but love is irreplaceable. I realize that I did not get everything I ever wanted as a child but all I can think is that I had it all with a mother who loved me so much.
4. Quit thinking your doing it all wrong.
- To anyone that tells you what you are doing is wrong just push them to the side and out of mind. It's hard enough being a single mom, let alone having every parenting choice you make monitored by a bunch of idiots that don't know your child. Stop... Unless you are abusing your child (which if you are please find help!) your child is amazing and you are doing an amazing job with your child no matter what anyone thinks.
5. Be resourceful!
- This is kinda a fun one! There are always ways to get things done. Like taking a shower. This one was a tough one for me to learn. Here are some tips for that.
1. Grab a bouncer and strap your little one in. If your paranoid about not being able to see the baby get a clear curtain so you can see them through it and know they are okay.
2. Get there car seat and strap them in. Put some blankets rolled up in front and behind them so that the car seat doesn't go backwards.
3. If neither of these work try taking a shower/bath with your little one. Kill two bird with one stone kinda thing here.
Okay so there are three ways just there. If you are struggling finding away to get something done look online and on pintrest. Pintrest saved my life honestly. So many good ideas on that site.
Just some tips! If you have any other tips for single moms comment below! We all could use the help :)
Relationship 101
Being in a relationship is a lot of work between having to pay bills and making sure everyone is happy and everything else involved in being a couple. I can see how some relationships fail. It is very hard to put aside your feelings and see how the other person is feeling.
When your in a relationship you have to learn to be as fair as possible and to try to see things from the other partners eyes.
Don't get me wrong I am the last person to give relationship advice because I am trying to figure it all out myself.
It is the first time in my life that I have had a true relationship with someone who I knew I could see myself with forever. It is honestly amazing and I love him so very much that my heart wouldn't know what to do if he wasn't around anymore.
I am what you would call the abandoner...the run away from your problems and hide. If I don't have to talk about it I am one happy chicky. Okay but that's not reasonable to anyone else, they would think I was being self centered. I hate confrontation, it scares me, I will pretend the problem never happened instead of confronting the problem. I also know I am not the only one out there with this problem either.
In a relationship I have learned that ignoring a problem only makes it worse. The other person gets upset because they know me and know something is wrong but can't get me to talk about it. However I am working so hard at changing or at least being able to talk about problems before they get worse. I have always had a fear that if I show someone that I am upset that they will think I am being silly and leave me.
I have never wanted someone in my life more than I have wanted Josh. I know he feels the same way about me as well.
Truly if you aren't with someone that you can tell everything to then whats the point?
I have secrets. Of course we all have some embarrassing quality about ourselves we don't want anyone to ever know. I thought I would never be able to be myself with Josh. However I am starting to learn that no matter what I tell him about my past or about myself that he has yet to leave. I love that when I come home I can tell him anything and everything and he doesn't judge me for any of it. I have never ever had that before in my life....and it is freeing.
I think overall being in a relationship is tough, its work just like anything else is. However its the kind of work your willing to do because you love your significant other so much and you couldn't imagine being with anyone else. When I say a relationship is tough I mean that you can't give up, giving up is not an option. You can't agree on everything and you have to work together to find a middle ground.
There are some qualities that I have that Josh does not have and there are some qualities Josh has and I do not. I personally believe that is why we work so well together. We even each other out, we learn from each other.
I've always said if you aren't learning something new everyday then why are you here?
I hope everyone can find someone like Josh is to me.
Jessy-
When your in a relationship you have to learn to be as fair as possible and to try to see things from the other partners eyes.
Don't get me wrong I am the last person to give relationship advice because I am trying to figure it all out myself.
It is the first time in my life that I have had a true relationship with someone who I knew I could see myself with forever. It is honestly amazing and I love him so very much that my heart wouldn't know what to do if he wasn't around anymore.
I am what you would call the abandoner...the run away from your problems and hide. If I don't have to talk about it I am one happy chicky. Okay but that's not reasonable to anyone else, they would think I was being self centered. I hate confrontation, it scares me, I will pretend the problem never happened instead of confronting the problem. I also know I am not the only one out there with this problem either.
In a relationship I have learned that ignoring a problem only makes it worse. The other person gets upset because they know me and know something is wrong but can't get me to talk about it. However I am working so hard at changing or at least being able to talk about problems before they get worse. I have always had a fear that if I show someone that I am upset that they will think I am being silly and leave me.
I have never wanted someone in my life more than I have wanted Josh. I know he feels the same way about me as well.
Truly if you aren't with someone that you can tell everything to then whats the point?
I have secrets. Of course we all have some embarrassing quality about ourselves we don't want anyone to ever know. I thought I would never be able to be myself with Josh. However I am starting to learn that no matter what I tell him about my past or about myself that he has yet to leave. I love that when I come home I can tell him anything and everything and he doesn't judge me for any of it. I have never ever had that before in my life....and it is freeing.
I think overall being in a relationship is tough, its work just like anything else is. However its the kind of work your willing to do because you love your significant other so much and you couldn't imagine being with anyone else. When I say a relationship is tough I mean that you can't give up, giving up is not an option. You can't agree on everything and you have to work together to find a middle ground.
There are some qualities that I have that Josh does not have and there are some qualities Josh has and I do not. I personally believe that is why we work so well together. We even each other out, we learn from each other.
I've always said if you aren't learning something new everyday then why are you here?
I hope everyone can find someone like Josh is to me.
Jessy-
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