21 WAS PERFECT

For the last two years my birthdays have not gone exactly the best that they could have. For 19 I had just told my parents I was pregnant and lets just say there were a lot of people disappointed in me. It was very hard to know that I disappointed so many people, it made it hard to enjoy that birthday. When I turned 20 I was struggling with depression and for some reason being twenty made me feel old and like I missed on all of my childhood. I did get passed those feelings thankfully and did enjoy the birthday as much as I could.

However this year for my birthday was perfect. I went to sleep with a smile on my face knowing that I for once had one day with no problems, no drama or anything. May not seem like much but that meant so much to me. My parents bought my first bottle of wine for me and I did 4 shots of different types of Vodka and Rums. For someone that doesn't drink that much it was really weird to experience that. I took them one after another. I laughed so hard and was very happy. We then ate food and it made it hard to actually get the food into my mouth ha ha!

It was honestly an amazing night. I had not a worry in the world. My grandma got me a cook book and I am excited to get to find some yummy recipes to make.

I don't know if god is real for if the universe had anything to do with yesterday but if felt like all the stars were aligned and nothing could go wrong. Maybe it was just the alcohol or maybe just the attitude I had but whatever it was I loved the feeling and will remember my 21st birthday for as long as I live as the best birthday I have ever had!

Birthday Part Two:

I am officially closing on my first home today. A few of my family and friends know about this huge step in my life but not everyone. I have been a bit nervous to tell anyone because I was afraid it may fall through. Luckily it has not. I am so excited for this next step in my life. I cannot believe I am 21 and one day old and am going to buy my first house.

There are not many 21 year olds buying a house by themselves. That alone is pretty impressive if I do say so myself. I have had a lot of help getting to this point. Things have never generally been easy for me but that's just like everyone else to. I have been raising my daughter alone up until the last couple of months, paying all my bills and rent and making sure they are paid on time as well. Other then the few here and there help I have gotten from my parents I have done it by myself . I love being able to tell people that I am an independent women  who will never get up and will continue to do my very best to get where I want to be.

Thank you to all who helped me get to this point in my life and for believing in me no matter what. I would have struggled so much without your help.

Thanks for the amazing Birthday! I won't forget this day.

FINALLY 21!

I couldn't drink this morning cause I had work but here are selfies of me with my first legal drink of alcohol. I will be buying my first bottle of wine today as well... I hope I get carded lol! I also dyed my hair last night and absolutely love the new color!!! 

How I know today will be an awesome day.... Last night I caught my first lightning bug of the year and made a wish on it when it flew away. So basically today has to be great :) 

By the way have a ever said how much I love my boyfriend? Well I was born around 12:30 am and I had told him this. He woke me up to tell me birthday at 12:30 am! Love him so much . 

8 Mistakes Every Mom Makes!

Now I have only been a Mom for 18 months but I've already had a few little mistakes I've made.

1. Taking advice other parents have about your child seriously.
         - I hate this. As soon as you become a mother every other mother and their mother wants to tell you how to raise your child. When I was first a mom I remember feeling so overwhelmed when someone told me I was doing something wrong with my child. First of all it is my child so I don't see why any one else opinions matter. What we have to learn is everyone has a opinion on everything, you have to learn to take advice and say thank you. Just realize you don't have to take the advice and use it, but if you like the advice or want to try it GO FOR IT!

2.Wishing for your child to grow up.
           - This is really hard not to do! Us moms get excited to see all the fun milestones ahead of us and boom it happens and then we wish for them to stop growing so fast. I used to and still sometimes do this. Millie is now 18 months and I wish we could go back to the baby baby days. they were so much fun! So don't wish away your child's childhood.

3. Thinking you can buy nice things and them stay nice things.
               - Yeah... if you have a toddler you have learned this lesson already. Nice clothes... nah just kidding your child spit up and left an gnarly stain... Nice couch? No you left salsa on the coffee table and you looked away for only a minute and your couch is now covered in red salsa. Okay so we can't have nice things but we sure do have good memory's with our little ones.

4.Forgetting that you need alone time too.
          -Single mom or not we all have a ton on our plates. Sometimes someone will give you advice to find sometime for yourself. Haha right? No not at all. You really need to find a few minutes to yourself. It is so important so that you don't get lost in this new world of baby clothes and spit up and hours of crying.

5. Freaking out about every small bump or scratch.
          - Oh dear. Every time Millie would fall on her bottom when she first started to walk I would panic so bad that she would bust her head open. What mom doesn't worry about that? I sure don't want to spend an afternoon in the hospital! However a lot of times I realize I have just overreacted and possibly made a not dramatic moment...dramatic. Of course I will always have a moment of panic but I and many other mothers out there need to take a chill pill and realize that it will be okay!

6. Not knowing how to pick your battles-
          - Now only having a 18 month I am sure I have no idea what this really means but also I was once a teenage too. I feel being able to know how to pick your battles helps lower chances of extreme fights over nothing. Even now as a mom of a 18 month old I have learned that some things are just not worth fighting over. Like her eating. Okay my child loves food to a point that we constantly have little battles over how much she should eat. She always acts like she has not eaten for days even if she had a five course meal.... If that child runs out of food dear god duck and cover! I used to think she was eating to much but she always eats healthy foods so I have learned that if she is hungry let the girl eat some more strawberries. She will learn not to over eat soon or later.

7. Comparing your child to others children.
           - Don't you dare say you don't do this. I do. Its awful but its hard not to this because we want so badly to know that our child is growing and learning at the same rate as other children. And sometimes we want our child to be the best at everything. Wellllllll sorry to tell you this... That is honestly impossible. No one is perfect and we shouldn't be thinking our children aren't at the same rate as someone else's. Every child is unique and for the most part they all eventually get to the same place. Just because your child can't walk before your friends don't think anything is wrong with your baby! You have a perfect child who is going at his or her own pace.

8. No matter how many mistakes you make always learn to forgive yourself.
         -Being a mom is hard work. You have to know that no matter how many big or little mistakes you make that you are not alone! Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Mistakes are just that....mistakes. They happen so you can learn to better yourself, to create the best of you there is. Never give up because of one silly mistake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Tomorrow is my 21st birthday! Party!!

Alright let me explain how much of a NOT party girl I am... actually there is nothing to really explain. I am just not a party girl... never have been and don't really plan on being one. I mean my situation kinda prevents me from being to crazy. I mean I guess there are people out there who have my situation and still get crazy but as a mom I have a responsibility for my child that I must take care of first. 

So here I am about to turn 21 and although it will be nice to buy a bottle of wine here and there I personally am not extremely excited. 

However for once in my life I am extremely excited for this birthday. My soon to be step brother and his wife are taking me out on Saturday with a bunch of my friends and boyfriend. My wonderful Aunt is watching Millie over night which will be extremely great so that I don't have to worry about a toddler why I am drinking. 

I really hope this birthday is better than the last two years. Don't get me wrong last year was pretty good but for some reason turning twenty made me feel like I had completely lost my childhood. This year actually makes me feel a bit more like the rest of the kids my age. For some reason twenty one seems young. 

Wish me luck... I probably only ever been drunk like twice in my life. Yeah... I need the luck ;-). Oh well the goal is to go out and have fun. Not get drunk. Okay maybe a bit to get drunk 0-0.

Cross your fingers that this Birthday is the best yet! I am very excited! I will post my outfit for Saturday someday this week too! 

Road Trip/ Family Reunion!

Alright well I kinda lied about not having anything to do this weekend! Sunday we did go to my family reunion and it was so much fun! It was Josh and I's first road trip together which was interesting in itself. We had a little rough start but we got ourselves back on track once we reached my family reunion. Ha ha I feel so bad for Josh. He seriously has met almost everyone in my family in one sitting 0-0 He did really good and I knew he would! Everyone in my family likes him which is such a relief. I don't think I would have cared so much what anyone else thinks because I know Millie absolutely loves him. 

I love him so much. I love how I truly feel I can be myself around him and not be embarrassed about it. I love that he loves Millie as much as he does. He would drop anything for that little red headed baby girl. I love how much we can bicker and complain yet at the end of the day we are laughing, he never lets me go to sleep mad at him. 

Don't get me wrong there are things he does that can drive me crazy. Hun if your reading this I absolutely know you know what I am talking about ;-)!  None of that maters though. We have fun no matter what we are doing. 

The pictures I posted below are from this weekend road trip. I love them all, it shows exactly are relationship. 

I used to be confused on what love was but looking at my little family I have going now I realize that this is love. I used to think love was being with someone you never fought with or being with someone who never made you upset. I thought love was pure happiness all the time... I was completely wrong. 

I now believe love is about finding someone who cares about you as much as you care about them. Love is pushing someone to do things that you know is best for them. Love is being there for someone when you know they feel like they are falling apart inside. Even if you have a disagreement you know that no matter what your love will over come your disagreement. Love is so much that even I can't explain it words. Love is such an amazing feeling and I hope everyone reading this gets a chance to really experience it. 

I hope you enjoy the pictures :) I know I did! 

We decided to try and match for the reunion! Josh's idea by the way! That little girl loves him so much. I am awfully blessed. 

The progression of the next several pictures explains our relationship perfectly! GOOFY!