Nonetheless I think we all have those days were we just wonder what our lives would be like without our children. Sometimes I hate myself for thinking things like that but to be honest sometimes I think it would be so easy to just be able to do things for once without worrying if I have enough diapers or wipes or where the dang sippy cup went. I mean even going a night out on the town consists of finding a good baby sitter having everything together and attempting to avoid having a minor panic attack about the what IFS. What if she needs me... what if she cries... what if she falls and your not there to kiss the booboos. As a mother in general worrying just comes with the territory, I used to think that it was bad for me to worry so much that I was a bad mom for worrying about her. Turns out the moms that worry the most, are the ones who care the most for their child.
For the first time since my daughter was born I got to go out by myself for an entire night and just have fun. I am only 20 I kinda missed out on being a young adult. I grew up so fast and I realize that I missed out on so much. I wouldn't change a thing though. Millie stayed the night at Nana's and Papa's. I went out to the plaza ate my favorite food TOM FOOLERIES and walked around and had a blast with my friend ally. We then went back to my house drank wine and watched a movie and being as tired as I was I fell asleep before even finishing the movie... I never fall asleep during movies so I was shocked when my friend woke me up so we could go get in a bed.
Even after all that fun and extra sleep when I went to go get Millie I realized how much I missed her. She was so cute she got up and waddled over to me and gave me a big hug. It was one of the best feelings in the entire world to feel her in my arms. I know it might sound cheesy but that little girl is the light of my life. I could never imagine being away from her any long than I was.
Overall I accomplished a big step into motherhood. I learned to let Millie go just enough so that I could gain my sanity back for one night. She needs to be able to have experiences without mom being right by her side constantly. I always fear she will end up like me always needing someone. I want her to be independent and strong like I am learning to be.
-Being a single parent is not a life full of struggles, but a journey for the strong - Meg Lowery
