Keeping Positive: Never Giving up

Have you ever just thought WHAT THE HELL?

Honestly I probably think of say that like a billion times a day. Okay I may be exaggerating just a tiny bit but truly I do say it quiet a bit. I feel like sometimes I am doing everything in my power to make things run smoothly and nice but..... it just doesn't.

This last month and half has just been overly overwhelming. Yet I keep on paddling hopping I get a breath of air soon, even if I don't what other option do I have?

So what has kept me going?

First off my boyfriend has helped a lot the last two months. Normally my mother is the only person I feel I can go to that truly understand me but some how I met someone that gets me without me even having to explain myself. I have cried so much these last few weeks. Possibly because of the new meds I have been taking, one which is for my anxiety either isn't helping at all or making things worse. But I have just felt the need to break down crying and Josh has let me do that and helped me get through those rough moments again.

Secondly... I turn 21 on the 18th of June. Yes the idea that I can go buy alcohol legally with out asking someone to do it for me has kept me going for months now. Wow okay that made me sound like an alcoholic but no I am not just excited to buy a bottle of wine and take a hot bath.


Third and lets be honest most importantly my daughter. I could never give up with her around, I don't even think that's an option. There is so much for us to experience and learn together that every day is a blessing. Even though some days all I can think is "God, please let me just give up once". Millie never lets me give up and someday I will thank her for keeping me going all these years. She is my light and she holds me up when no one else can. Her presence has saved me from the beginning.

I guess I am writing this because we have all wanted to give up some time or another. It isn't easy when it feel like the world is against you. Just keep your head up and think of all the reasons why you should keep trudging along. There is something more that you probably can't see in the moment but once you reach it you will be glad you never once gave up. There is something, there is someone who needs you to keep fighting.

Life is so precious lets not focus on all the reasons why were should give up but more on the reasons why we should continue to live a life that was given to us. There is always a reason to keep going. You just have to find it.