Car less but not Hope less

Not having a car is a real eye opener. It opens all these doors you didn't know where there and it teaches you some pretty valuable lessons. It also makes you feel very vulnerable, you have to trust other people to help you out in your time in need. Trusting anyone is a pretty significant struggle in my life and always has been because of my past of being abandoned. Ask my mother and sister, in the delivery room I was scared out of my mind that they were all going to leave me to push this baby out alone. Of course I know they never would but I was scared they might so everyone had to be touching me while I was in labor. If they walked away I was so scared.

Through the last few years I have really grown past a lot of those fears but sometimes they come back.  Not having a car was a situation that brought back some of those fears.

So I handled the initial moment of my car breaking down and finding out it wasn't fixable but the next day it all set in and I cried. Okay I didn't just cry, I had a huge panic attack, couldn't breath felt like the end of the world, scared I couldn't do this.

Thankfully I have some really awesome parents who have been helping me find the right car. Who have continued to remind me that its really going to be okay. I feel very lucky to have such an amazing support system and I know that not all single parents have this amount of support from friends and family. It hurts my heart that someone may be doing this alone because I know it isn't easy. I know that doing anything like this takes a whole lot of strength with or without help.

So not having a car opens up another valuable lesson. You don't need to go out to have fun. Not having a car has really helped teach me that Millie and I can have a ton of fun just with the things we have already at home. Water guns was a fun one and made my mom Millie and I all laugh. Play doh was a fun one for Millie and we have done a lot of coloring and practicing writing her name!

We also spent most of Saturday and Sunday reorganizing the house. Its no where near what I want it to be but its close. We went through all of Millie's toys she doesn't play with. She now has one small basket full of toys that she actually plays with. She has a cart of books and a basket of stuffed animals and that is it.  With clutter comes cleaning and responsibility. We really don't have time to be cleaning up toys all the time having one basket works for us. Now your kid might come over and think Millie has no toys but I am fine with that. Millie is pretty happy with it and seems to sleep better with it being so much cleaner than it was.

Not having a car forced me to actually weed eat my yard. Haha! My mom will appreciate that one. Come to find out my weed eater sucks and my neighbor saw me struggling with came over to see if he could get it started but like I said it just sucks. The lady that lives next door has an electric one and let me borrow hers. I ended up talking to her for a bout an hour or so. I really liked her!

So yeah, not having a car is not ideal but it sure does make you learn that there is so much more to life then working and coming home. Of course I am ready to find a new car as soon as possible but I am happy with the lessons I have learned. My mom always tells me its about your perspective. If your negative your going to have an negative outcome or experience. If your positive your going to have a hell lot more of fun.

Just a little perspective from me to single parents and well anyone else. When things happen that really suck go ahead and panic a little sometimes its all you can do. Then get back up and prioritize your goals and your perspective on the entire situation. You can made it a better situation even if its just a little. Hang in there.

If we can do it you can do it!