One Year and Many Lessons

Over a year ago I was in a very unhappy relationship and I didn't even really know it. I let go of what I wanted and was worried all the time about finances and the relationship itself.

A year ago my mother got married, I had been single for a little over a month and my mothers photographer took the top picture of me.

I didn't think this was a bad picture and I looked happy and I was happy for my mother and step dad on their special day.

 Deep down though I was miserable. I felt like a giant over stuffed teddy bear. I was struggling with a break up and dealing with getting used to living alone and all the pressures I had placed on myself. I was depressed an anxious and it was tearing me apart but I didn't let it win. 

And here I am today.

I have been single for over a year. Yes, I have tried to date again but nothing ever felt right. I strongly believe that I am not ready to take on another relationship and I don't plan to for a very long time. Just this last year I have learned so much about who I am and why I do things and what I want in life. I've been able to focus on my daughter more. I've smiled much more and laughed like I've never laughed before.

Most of all I have learned how to take better care of my body. I've got a long long road ahead of me but just 15 pounds difference and yes I can tell.

I am not perfect but I am me. And I am enough.

This is only a year difference... get ready for a two year difference! I am ready to prove to myself that I can do better!

To those of you struggling as I have with healthy living. Don't give up on your dream to feel healthy. Focus on yourself and your needs and don't feel guilty for doing so. Learning to love yourself needs to come first before you can truly love another.

If I only teach Millie one lesson it will be to take the time to love herself.

~Love and Peace Chaotic Momma~