Howdy Stranger...

Yeah, I've been gone for way to long.
Been dealing with some dramas in my life that I think I've finally put past me, hopefully for good. And guess what the drama is about? A guy. See I have this awful tendency to fall in love to easily. However I tried to hold myself back, to just let things be how they should be. I thought I could help this guy which is how I am, I just wanted him to be okay but was losing myself in the moment of all his stuff. After him playing volleyball with my heart for over five months I finally decided no more. No more coming back to me when he broke up with someone. No more letting him ruin the life I have made for me and my daughter.

I am not sure if my heart is completely over this guy... but my brain knows the truth and is keeping my heart in check, at least for the moment.

In other guy news. Yes there is a new guy although I find this to be much different from my prior relationship(if you can even call it that). I know I know I know... I've said its different with a lot of these guys but... this IS different.

We actually have a cute story on how we met.

One of my bosses came up to me one day back in January and asked me if I was single. I said well yeah I am. She then continued to show me a picture of this guy. He was attractive but I was nervous and I told her no because I didn't know if that would cross a line. I knew they were really close and I didn't want to ruin my job for myself.  I told her no and that I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and just wasn't ready to start a new one. Which wasn't a lie at all, I was still partly in that relationship and needed to move on before I dated again.

So that seemed to be the end of that.

I have always been on a dating site. POF. I usually start talking to someone and then it just ends. Well about a week or so I was looking around and I saw a familiar picture. It was the guy my boss tried to set me up with. I blushed and completely x'd out of it hoping to avoid that awkward conversation. Not even thirty minutes later he messages me...

I decided to talk to him as I wasn't for sure if it was even him. We talked and chatted and I felt comfortable talking with him. I asked if he knew my boss and of course he did. Then we started to text and I don't know we just clicked.

So this last Sunday we went to dinner together with my daughter. So I know many people won't agree with me bring my daughter but this last week has been rough. She was sick most of the week and I had to have a couple different babysitters so she could stay home and I could still work. I hate leaving her with babysitters that much. So I asked him if he was okay with it and he said he was and that he didn't mind. I choose to do this because I wanted a non pressure date. I wanted to talk almost just as friends first.

To say the least we sat their with menus and talked for at least thirty minutes before ordering. We had so much in common yet we are completely different people. It's pretty cool actually. Millie really liked him and he held her a bit and we went and played at this open field by the restaurant.

Some may wonder if we kissed (or maybe you don't care at all) no we did not. He did not push it either or look awkwardly into my eyes and lean it. lol! We all know that look and its sooo embarrassing sometimes. I just felt my daughter is here and I didn't want to cross that line. Not till I know for sure that he may stick around.

I just think when the time is right, it will happen.

So basically a lot of good things have come into place in the last few weeks.

I am not sure where any of this will go but... where ever it goes or doesn't go is for the best. I know god has  a big plan for me, things that I don't even know I am capable of.

"Stop worrying on what you have to lose and start focusing on what you have to gain"